Monday, June 14, 2010

I'mma love her til she be like, "That's enuff!!!!!!"

Re: Still In Jail

Dear Mother,

It's me your son. I'm still in jail and I'm still mad at you. After an impeccable record of picking me up after basketball practice for years and years I thought you would be the perfect get away driver. However, when you never showed up after I robbed the bank, you won the worst mom ever award. WHERE WERE YOU!? You were supposed to pick me up at three! We went over this at least ten times. I told you I'd give you gas money! I said I'd take you out to lunch everyday for a year. I told you I'd buy us cool cell phones to keep in touch. And I made it very clear that I wasn't just calling you all of a sudden because I wanted a ride home from the bank. No. I called to say I love you and then I asked you about picking me up at three. But the reason I called was to tell you I love you. And you said, "Thanks. I'll pick you up at three, Gerard Timothy." which was weird because you sounded mad and you didn't say I love you back, you said "thanks". But I didn't think that had anything to do with me I thought maybe dad ate the ham that you were going to cook for dinner because that would really be annoying.Well, whatever. I'm in jail now. Lets talk about this. I've been reading the bible and I'm ready to make amends. I'm on page two. Come visit. 

Love reluctantly, 

Your son Gerard

Inspired by: T.I. (Feat. Keri Hilson) - Got Your Back