Monday, December 14, 2009

His Chain Hang Down To His Dang-A-Lang

How has my life changed since winning fifteen grand on Deal or No Deal? Well I've been going out every night and I buy up the bar...EVERY NIGHT! Why not? I don't like to get big headed about this but when Howie said "Joseph from Atlantic City New Jersey....deal or no deal?" I went fuckin' crazy! I said to myself, you know what? Take this. Take this deal and let it change your life. That's what I did and now I'm going to all the big basketball games sitting court side next to the Beckham clan. Oh, my wife? She's been pretty cool about my new lifestyle. I haven't bought her anything, technically. Not unless you consider time alone some kind of item because I've bought her plenty of that. Don't get me wrong I "love" her but it's just different now. Now that there's so much money in the picture. My friend Jon Gosslin knows all about this. It's hard to explain to someone how it feels to have an exorbitant amount of money. Most people don't understand because most people are poor. Let's just be honest. I've been coping with this by trying to meet people with the same financial security as me. Last night I went out with the girls from MTV's The Hills. Sweet girls, they really are. Anyhow, after listening to them talk about their hand bags for a good forty five minutes they finally started talking about something I could relate to which was money. The weirdest looking one, Audrina, made a very valid point. She said "Money doesn't grow on trees but luckily my dad has so much money that it doesn't matter and if he ever cuts me off, he can never take away the fake boobs he bought me on my eighteenth birthday." Basically what she meant was that if money were to suddenly leave her life, she would still be the same person she always was. That I think is a great thing. I don't feel like I've changed as a person because of the money. This money is nothing but my trick pony. Yeah I'm sorry my phone keeps ringing. Don't let it bother you, let's just finish up this interview. If you want you can just take the phone off the hook. It's either one of two people: my wife or my bill collector. Alright, where were we?

Inspired by: Young Jeezy - "I'm Rich"

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